Scout Durwood and the Packed houses - Part 3

Scout Durwood at the Edinburgh Festival

Thursday 12^th August 2010

Words: Alisande Orme

It turns out that putting 6 ‘theatre artists’ into a confined space (the wee Edinburgh house) and letting them stew in their own performance anxiety is not a recipe for preserving friendships, so much as an instruction manual for how to prepare explosive material. Killy, Scout’s other housemate who I’ve yet to mention by name because, well, she has her own room and thus gets to stay out of the more dramatic incidents, yesterday spent time instructing us all to nurture our ‘inner children’ after a couple of incidents over the last few days led to, respectively, tears before bedtime, tears before show time, and tears in front of a pub full of people that led to one member of the crew having to be comforted by five stand-up comedians after she was ‘abandoned’ by everyone else (there’s a joke in that scenario somewhere, I’m sure, that doesn’t involve me becoming hysterical again). But we’re better now, we promise.

Following a much needed day off, Thursday went a little something like this:

Scout filled in as a stand-up in a variety show at the very beautiful Voodoo Rooms. She’s always thrilled during her stand-up sets at how well her self-penned paean to the travails of womanhood, ‘The Period Song’ goes down, particularly amongst men, who seem to especially enjoy belting out lines such as “I just got my period/ I want to eat nachos and criticise your life choices.” It’s a singalong, obviously.

After teaching mankind about the social impact of menstruation w then moved along to see Delilah Dix and Her Bag of Tricks at Fingers’ Piano Bar. Delilah, a seasoned show biz professional (read: slutty alcoholic who dresses like a drag queen and once dated Queen Latifah), sings the audience through her career in the style of a lounge act and, honestly, I don’t think we’ve laughed so hard since we got here.

At the end of the day, Hi! How Can I Help You? once again played to a packed house. It feels to some extent like stuff is still being worked out in terms of the show and audiences. No-one had anticipated, for example, how much audiences up here like to be included in a performance. But, one week in, it’s all coming together, and for that we are immensely grateful.

Is Scout Durwood Edinburgh's funniest lesbian? - Part 2

Scout Durwood at the Edinburgh Festival

Alisande Orme’s Diary

Monday 9^th August

Ugh. Monday. It seems that whatever you do, wherever it is in the world, there’s no way to escape the start of week downturn. Monday night’s crowd-- undoubtedly influenced by the two for one ticket offers that were available to many shows—did not turn up in Café Renroc. Scout played to an audience of three, a fact that left her more than a little bit blue, something we addressed by getting very, very drunk.

Blue Monday was then compounded when we “realised” that Scout’s bike seat—just the seat, not the rest of it, mind—had been stolen. I say realised because when we got back to the venue on Tuesday it turned up in her dressing room… Thanks for all that free beer Mr. Bartender (whose name we’ve blacked out in order to stop ourselves from involuntarily cringing every time it’s mentioned for the next 100 years), thanks a lot.

Tuesday 10^th August

At 10 o’clock on Tuesday morning we’re still thanking the bartender for all that beer, mostly because Visa Girl and Scout’s other housemate woke us up at that ungodly hour so we could chant in gratitude for all our blessings. Despite our initial cynicism (and hangovers that could hold back the tides) there may well be something in it: Scout played to a full house that included two reviewers, one of whom definitely liked the show!

What strikes me most as a non-performer is the sheer hustle that goes into appearing at the Edinburgh Fringe, particularly if you want to be succesful. Self-promotion, good online and print reviews and audience word of mouth are essential to gaining crowds, and so it is a case of non-stop talking to people in the street during the day, doling out flyers, and emailing potential reviewers in the name of marketing.

Initially, organising a venue and funding seemed as if it might be the most challenging part of Scout’s (ahem) journey. Once she got to Edinburgh there were more fiddly problems to sort out, such as adapting Hi, How Can I Help You? to suit a predominantly British audience and Café Renroc’s itsy-bitsiness. But before Scout performs she (along with Lucile and I) have to get audiences in to Renroc. To do that we have to hit the city’s streets where we then spend the day competing for the attention of passerby against a frightening number of all-singing all-dancing sixth form drama clubs who—ah, the energy of youth-- are forever clogging up the place with their renderings of Rent and Sweeney Todd.

Seriously, if teenagers approached you so aggressively in any other part of the world, you’d seriously consider changing your route home. Instead, we’ve begun adapting some of the musical numbers from Scout’s show so they’re more, um, appropriate for life before the watershed, while also adapting our wardrobes so we can go out dressed appropriately to promote a show that’s about sex workers.

Scout Durwood at the Edinburgh Festival - Part 1

Alisande Orme’s Diary

Friday, 6^th August 2010: Opening Night

I’ve been friends with first time Edinburgh festival performer Scout Durwood for four years now. During the time I’ve known her she’s go-go danced in sleazy cocktail bars, interned at a feminist magazine captained by a frighteningly verbal alcoholic editor, campaigned for the rights of rape victims, and spent time in a dungeon to research her latest one-woman show Hi, How Can I Help You? but I’ve never known her to be quite as nervous as this.

Scout arrived in Edinburgh from New York two days before her opening with Lucile Scott, her director, and two other performers who’s she sharing a house that estate agents might politely describe as ‘bijou’ with. One housemate almost didn’t make it in to the country, having previously overstayed a tourist visa by over a year. When she did make it in, Visa Girl (as she’ll hence forward be know) immediately began celebrating with Scotland’s finest (whiskey and men) throwing her housemates aflutter by disappearing for two days. It’s never undramatic with actors.

Café Renroc, 91 Montgomery Street, where Hi, Can I Help You? will run until August 29^th is the cutest little venue in Edinburgh, it even has a gallery space. However, it’s littleness mean that the hula hoop routine -an essential part of the show, where one sex worker really gets to strut her stuff- has had to be reworked at the last minute. We’ve spent two days publicising the show (read: flyering and flirting with American tourists), and are now keeping our fingers crossed that people will actually come along.

“It could be worse,” we tell each other after watching the news coverage of Charles Taylor’s trial for war crimes. “We could be Naomi Campbell’s wig.”

Saturday, 7^th August 2010

With opening night- in a not empty venue!- over Scout, Lucile and I (having taken on the unofficial role of den mother, vodka pourer and force feeder in the wee Edinburgh house) have all calmed down immensely. Even Visa Girl stayed in last night.

Café Renroc, we have decided, is perfect for Scout’s show as a noisier bar, where people are dropping in and out all the time, might disrupt the flow of the performance in a piece like this, which comprises acting, singing and dancing. They, we feel, suit improv acts or stand-up comics better as they give them the chance to show off.

The afternoon is marked out by a ‘Meet The Press’ event which La Durwood assures us went really, really well. We hope so, because apart from the flyering and relying on people who’ve seen the show to spread the word, we’re kind of at a loss of what to do, bar accosting members of the TV production teams who trawl the festival for hot new talent outside their hotel rooms.

Diva’s own interview with her, in which she discusses how best to conduct research in a ‘House of Domination’ can be found here:

www.divamag.co.uk/diva/article.asp?AID=7172

I’ll post any other links as I get them.

Sunday, 8^th August 2010

Word of mouth and a calm demeanour, it seems, might be the key. Having had a fairly good turn out on Friday, Renroc surprised us with an almost totally packed audience on Saturday! And they liked the show! Exclamation marks and double whiskeys all round!!!

We celebrated this upturn in events with fish and chips and a trip around some of the city’s finer LGBTQ bars. I’m not naming names- can’t remember any- but I would ask lesbians of Edinburgh this, particularly on behalf of Scout and Lucile, who as New York lezzes aren’t used to being chatted up by straight men in gay bars: Where are all the girls, and bois, and dykes? Want some. Also- the eternal question- why doesn’t saying “No thanks, I’m a dyke?” make me these men reconsider their (ahem) affections, especially when you’re in a lesbian bar when you say it? Hate boys.

We’re also massively uplifted by the interview with Sarah Millican that appeared in The Guardian today. Millican we learn only sold five tickets to her Edinburgh show, but went onto win the award for Best Newcomer by the end of the month. With that in mind, we went out to do more flyering.

Follow Scout on Twitter twitter.com/ladyscoutington

Myspace myspace.com/scoutdurwood

Because according to The Mirror, Cross-Dresser = Killer

Has anyone read The Daily Mirror recently? No? Well, I don’t blame you, normally I wouldn’t either. But recently there was a rather interesting article on Raoul Moat, the gunman who killed himself and shot three others over a period of seven days. With a history of violence, steroid abuse and an eighteen week sentence for assaulting a relative, he was indisputably dangerous. Within three days of his release he had shot his ex-girlfriend’s new partner and a police constable. Clearly, the man was volatile and twisted – that cannot be contested.

The Daily Mirror reported as much. The article condemns him as ‘a living monster’ who, according to a previous partner, ‘made her life hell with a string of beatings that almost killed her, a vicious rape and mental torture during jealous rages fueled by a cocktail of steroid drugs.’ Fine. Dandy. I’m not going to argue with that. Why would I? I have no doubts that she’s telling the truth. The man sounds absolutely horrific; every inch the maniac that the article portrays him as.

What I am going to argue with is this: “Marissa Reid, 32, told of the killer’s kinky cross-dressing… he made her life hell with beatings, rape and mental torture.”

I’m sorry, but what? What, pray tell, does cross-dressing have to do with killing? The two don’t belong in the same sentence! Here was a sick, twisted and evil man who ruthlessly abused his partners before proceeding to shoot three people in cold blood. He was a demented, vile individual and I’m glad he’s gone. But the fact that he cross-dressed, that he “[dressed] up in [his ex-partner’s] clothes and make-up, even parading around in a mini-skirt… loved trying on [her] skirts, dresses and even [her] thongs” is utterly inconsequential. It is a tiny, insignificant fact about a malicious murderer and bears about as much relevance to his actions as the fact he has blue eyes.

What exactly are they trying to say? That cross-dressing has a direct correlation with homicidal tendencies? That his fondness for woman’s clothing was a sign of his mental instability? Because that’s what it seems like to me. And, of course, that’s absolute rubbish. It’s merely statistics: there’s a section of people that enjoy cross-dressing, and a section of people that enjoy killing. Despite the thankfully minute proportion of the latter, the two groups will, at some point, inevitably and tragically overlap, thus opening the floodgates for the bigots and zealots who declaim different as dangerous. Of course, it’s not true. I’m willing to bet a whole lot of money that there are more killers and madmen who write with their left hands than cross-dress. Are we then to assume that being left-handed is a mark of the liable killer? That all left-handers are prone to sudden and bloody murderous riots? No, of course not, because that would be stupid. We ditched the theory that the left hand was a sign of evil when we moved away from the repression of the Victorian era, and I think it’s high time that The Mirror did the same.

(The article in question can be found here).

The New Black: There’s a new networking blog site and it’s a godsend for lesbians, says Beau Jackson

I first discovered Tumblr through a friend. On a Facebook status she had posted a link to an article on her Tumblr page and, liking the creativity and freedom of the posts I saw, I decided to create my own ‘tumblelog’.

Like any other blog or social networking site you first have to create a name for your page, and from there you can begin to post pictures, text, music and videos…but then, who’s going to see it?
As my friend did, you could always post links to your tumblelog on the likes of Facebook and Twitter, but Tumblr is not meant to be an extension of the network you have going with your friends. Instead it is an anonymous outlet for you, viewed by people with the same interests as you, who live in different places all over the world. These people are your followers.

Your followers are people who choose to receive a stream of your posts on what is called their ‘dashboard’, better known as a homepage. You in turn receive your own stream of posts from people you choose to get regular updates from, as with Facebook and Twitter. However, Tumblr avoids all those annoying updates from the clearly very fun party people who log in just to say “9iii’,m sdos drijmk!” on a night out.

Over my time on Tumblr I have gathered together a stream of people that seem largely of the lesbian persuasion.
Seeing the content they post and their popularity I asked a handful of them if the self professed “easiest way to blog” site lives up to it’s name and, more importantly, if they share my feeling that it is particularly ideal for the LGBT community to express themselves and receive support.

All of the users asked agreed that they post content without a fear of being judged or discriminated against – result! Still, that is not to say that prejudice doesn’t happen on Tumblr. We don’t live in a ‘perfect world’ and so we can’t expect any part of it to be without prejudice and discrimination. When such an instance of tunnel vision does occur on the site, there is, as pointed out by Claire of thenameofasong a ready-made community on hand to fight against it, probably much more so than the support you may receive from Facebook, as the people following your tumblelog generally share the same interests and opinions as you do.

The inevitability of this situation is then that users of Tumblr will strike up new friendships with each other, particularly useful for, for example, a 16- year-old lesbian living in a small town without a gay community. Allison of the blog itsbeendaysnow told me how she had met her current girlfriend through Tumblr, a relationship that probably wouldn’t have happened without the site, and others told me of their friendships with people across the globe. The same can be said in conjunction with other social networking sites, but with Tumblr there’s so much more freedom with the people you meet and it’s a lot easier to quickly find someone with the same interests.

It should go without saying that Tumblr provides a great support network particularly for younger people concerned about their sexuality. Again, the people asked unanimously agreed that they have witnessed or they themselves have helped teens with questions about sexuality. Candace of FYLL commented that her Tumblr famous blog had not only made young girls feel comfortable with their sexuality but that it also “made them LOVE being a part of this community”.

And so, it’s safe to say that the ‘Tumblr family’ is going to keep on growing. But here’s hoping that the site remains a relatively prejudice free and supportive unit, where people can share experiences, fears and ideas freely.

Teeth whitening - they're all at it!

Simon Cowell's had his done. Sarah Harding looks dashing with hers, and Cheryl Cole is definitely a new woman since she had her pearly whites doctored.

I was lucky enough to have my teeth whitened by Wyman Chan , the very chap responsible for Miss Cole's scrubbed teeth. After I'd gotten over the sad realisation that this is probably the closest to Cheryl I will ever get, I jumped at the opportunity to give DIVA readers a special promotion to keep you smiling beautifully.

For £250 rather than the RRP of £595, DIVA readers can get the full treatment from Wyman and his team, simply by quoting DIVA when booking at Smile Studios. The procedure took little over an hour, beginning with a relaxing few minutes in a massage chair. The staff are all extremely courteous and adhering to your every whim. During the main whitening session, you are provided with DVD goggles and a headset, and a choice of films to keep you occupied. I was asked on numerous occasions about my comfort, and by the end of the hour I had almost melted into the dentist's chair! Not a feeling normally associated with a trip to the tooth doc's.

Dr Wyman even showed me my before and after pictures, and I have to say my teeth are noticeably whiter. If I had a pound for every comment I've had about my teeth, I'd be a very rich woman, and now, like Cheryl and Simon, they really are my pearly whites!

Call to book your appointment now: 020 7439 0888

Ever dreamed about appearing in Trueblood? check this out.

If your dreams are filled with scenes that involve a starring role alongside sexy Anna Paquin in Trueblood? Well, hang on to that day job because that’s probably never going to happen, but hey, a girl can hope, right?

However, if you are willing to set your sights a little lower, for example appearing as an extra on the hit HBO show, I may just be able to help you out.

Charity Website, Charity Buzz, is auctioning off the chance to appear as an extra in the next season of Trueblood.

The role on offer is an non-speaking one, which is probably for the best as it takes away the need to say anything intelligent when all you can think about is ‘hmmmm Anna Paquin’ whilst gazing into the mid distance and dribbling like Homer Simpson.

If you are already busy transferring money, extending your overdraft and enjoying a private fantasy of replacing Stephen Moyer in those steamy sex scenes, yeah, you know the ones I mean, then go check out this site.

Sorry got distracted there for a minute… what was I saying? Oh yeah, here’s the website; Charitybuzz.com